You are not Special,
You aren’t even who you think you are,
There is nothing original or authentic about you,
You are a carbon copy,
A xerox of life force,
A chain reaction of impulses,
An executed precision of basic programming,
You will not see your dreams realized,
You will drone in the mundane until extinguishment,
Your efforts are a vivid deception,
Truly you aren’t even in motion,
You are not even awake,
Mostly you are in a deep slumber,
Sprinkled with spells of broken sleep,
Your Most High Adepts are at best lucid dreamers,
You’ve made yourself a fraud and a liar,
Afraid of your own potential,
Blind to your birthright,
A sheep on the pasture,
A means to a product,
No god will embrace you,
You’ve refused to embrace yourself,
You’ve forgotten your honor,
Possess nothing of character,
You’ll surely dismiss me,
Cast a circle and falsely pass onto me labels,
But I cannot be bound to you,
Most likely you aren’t worthy of this knowledge,
So you cannot receive me,
For you are a liar,
Claiming you can do nothing of catastrophic proportions,
perception is a farce of smoke and mirrors,
Cast Herme’s Stone,
Shatter the panes,
And glare till the airs crisp,
Might you know the objective in every way possible,
Still you are naive to the nature of the currents,
And cannot deny them,
Your strings plucked in pandemonium,
A runaway puppet,
A beggar and groveling slave,
No master would have you,
To mentor or suffer,
Those you would have tend you,
They shame you and shave you,
They mockingly parade you,
I am no better,
Strike that of these matters,
For I have embraced them,
And I truly struggle,
Against them I grow stronger,
Each time I reach deeper,
Becoming void of the human,
Illuminating the Xeno
-T.C. Downey 2010
Stained in glory, here before me
No song of victory
In steaming fury, a one man jury
Open the guillotine
An imperial power, his monstrosity towers
Hail the mighty king
For I am but only, a lonely solider
Killing for majesty
Many are like me, living to serve thee
Dying is integrity
Fiercely strong, so we push on
Won’t stop till victory
We didn’t start it, but we’ll finish it
Soldiers of World War III
First come the showers, explosions of power
So wickedly fearsome we are
Then we move through with swiftness, conquer with quickness
So righteously phantoms of death
For our gods and our country, so our sons live peaceably
We smash out the puritan’s seed
In our push for the win, we committed a sin
Underestimating the mankind’s greed
Nobody won World War III
Now that it’s over, no longer a soldier
A vagabong left to be
I remember the hour, of nuclear power
The cities are ruined, species is long gone
Nothing left in the sea
The sun is scorching, the air is on fire
My skin is peeling from me
Soon there will be, nothing left of me
The lone victor of World War III
– T.C. Downey 1992
Eight years had passed when I reopened this old WordPress. For eight years I have only Worked and manifested offline and only for my immediate benefit. I have to apologize for that, because the truth is I was discouraged by the anonymous-word-soup from those I admired and rampant sycophancy of those I abhor. There are/were those I remain in communication with. Even they are from time to time and lesser as time passes. You see outside the interwebs I don’t have to use any particular set of methods to influence the current to achieve my aims. People are sheep and I recognize this, even the smartest that I interact with still can be sheered with regularity.
Coming back here now, I am almost overwhelmed. However the A:O call to me and it is clear my work here isn’t finished. There is so very much that I simply just intuit it can at times be daunting trying to break things down for ease of reading. You would think being a father that I would have mastered this type of discourse, but there are two factors which disrupt that theory. The first is that my offspring are of me and since birth have been around me, so they understand me and even to some extent think as I do. The other thing is, and I keep this in the forefront of my mind always; you my reader are not children. Hailing from all walks of life and with different degrees of intuition and intelligence. Some are more initiated and others so mundane.
Experience has taught me not to underestimate or overvalue, and so I get lost in a labyrinth of my own design. Simply trying to balance the totality of my gnosis and communicating it effectively. I find myself jealous of writers like Chloe352 and my late comrade Ego Diabolus, they seem to effortlessly put their ideas out there effectively. I realize this is of course a healthy mixture of natural talent and practice as all artwork is. Communication is an artform, perhaps it is the root artform, as all types of art are trying to communicate something to the receptor.
Perhaps this is why I’m drawn back to this artificial disconnect (Interwebs). It is possible with a daily effort and the revealing of all aspects of myself that I might learn to be a more effective communicator. Before I kept different aspects of myself compartmentalized. In hindsight I’ve taken away some of the tools I possess. In effect, giving myself a ridiculous handicap.
My aim has never deterred as you’ll see in poetry I wrote 20-30 years ago. I am singularly focused on sparking change. I know now and have always known this battle will be fought liberating one mind at a time. This is why I have brought back Eminent Mind, DhK, and Beast Xeno. For 30 years I have walked the Lefthand Path, explored the conscious and subconscious alike. For 30 years my deeds in real life have matched my core principals. For all the ritual and practice there has to be one thing that kindles your awakening. So this is for you. I see your prison and am trapped there too. I know your shackles, for I have also felt their weight. It is so much easier a path to just follow the program, but it is empty and hollow. It is forsaken and meaningless.
The Autumn chill sets in;
An eerie silence whispers on the wind;
It doesn’t muffle what’s stirring in my head.
All my thoughts seem grim;
This vast emptiness collapsing in;
A hallow chorus chanting “go into the light.”
The light it fades;
Soaked and stained;
Stained by my darkest days.
Darkness bleeds throughout;
Carried by the brush strokes of doubt;
Does nothing ever comfort the screaming?
Where does it start or end;
This madness, I’m slipping in;
Slightly touched by March’s wicked grin.
The laughter dissipates;
Cloaked and weeping;
Weeping for my darkest days.
The new day, asked me why;
Am I wasting his precious time;
Posing questions only answered in my mind.
Might be better if it fails;
Cause there’s no wind to drive the sails;
Thus I am so tired of waiting to exhale.
My time dissipates;
No one else will wait;
Wait out the dawn on my darkest day.
– T.C. Downey/Beast Xeno 2013
It’s got me frustrated
And I can not breathe
An everyday façade
Live out my dreams
Only in fantasies
Sentenced to a prison
Without bars or chains
I pray for demons
I beg for rage
I seduce an explosion
Just to blow up my cage
Lodge me in my throat
So I can swallow this shame
No soldier’s glory
No father’s pride
No recollection of
When my true self died
My impure soul
Finds no redemption
Unwashed and unclean
Just a piece of the machine
by T.C. Downey 1997
Referred to by Lovecraft as the “Great Old Ones” and the “Outer Gods”, I have come to know them as The Ancient Ones. A fictional pantheon created by Lovecraft to build atmosphere in his tales, according to our tradition, the A:O are the primeval archetypes of Aethyr. HPL, by means of his stricken health, may have developed a naturally occurring deep esoteric resonance. Lovecraft inadvertently tapped into something ancient and primordial; a pervasive metaphysical essence at the beginning of all Aeons, which exists outside the physical plane. That same essence began revealing itself by manifesting unspeakable cosmic horrors in the dreams of Lovecraft.
In mankind’s early days, the A:O were nameless gods. Adepts came and went as frequently as the decades passed, each one ascribing a name(s) to the attributes recognized. Each passing generation, trying to find a better way to communicate what the A:O was. Our species lacked the capacity to describe the essence before and within them. At first we could only give it relations to elements in nature which appeared to be supranatural. When we finally mastered the art of anthropomorphization, we had all but forgotten what we were first trying to describe. An essence which was the catalyst that caused man to evolve and one day take our place among the Deep Ones; astral beings transcending dimensional existence as living conduit from which the A:O could return.
The A:O was lulled into a death-like sleep and forgotten by the world. New Gods, that is Lesser Gods; had come to take the place of the cosmic horrors, we had once so revered. Somewhere deep inside the fragments of our being, there is a residual memory of the terrors of mutagenic transformation; but we have long since faded from awareness. As the LG demanded blind obedience to its paradoxical morality, out of fear for our supposedly immortal soul. Mankind fell from our connection to that metaphysical essence (magnetic center). Yet, farther from the true nature of our being.
To the A:O we had become insignificant and irrelevant. Once ripe with so much promise and potential, we had spoiled and rotted away in the once fertile soil from whence we had grown. The LG had poisoned our prana with morality, slavery, and suffering, so that it would be suitable to sustain them. So the Darkhorse’s Work since its inception, has been focused on awakening that resonance of metaphysical essence (magnetic center). To do this we would need to work in a particular direction, and in a particular fashion.
This magnetic center can be thought of as the prisoner part of our self which is emaciated and weak. It cannot live freely. When we begin the Work, it is clear that the cage imprisoning our magnetic center is unlocked. There is no real barrier preventing us from escaping.
Unfortunately, we are far too pathetic to live outside this cage. In order to survive, we must become stronger and more potent. Therefore, to be nourished, our essence (magnetic center) should be observed from the outside occasionally at first, and then with greater frequency. Gaining knowledge of what is happening in the world. The movement between this knowledge and our essence (magnetic center) is called Self-Remembering. Self-Remembering is energy creating tremendous positive (to our benefit) change. Essence is grown stronger and more potent with proper nutrition (the correct work within our centers) and specific impressions of the world. We then can determine the correct action to take based upon the information, experience, and work. Finally leaving the cage, at that point; that our magnetic center can be called the “Real I”.
“Real I” takes over showing us that mundane (puritan) life is not an important thing. Nor is it our optimal focus. Puritan life only gives us the basics and that is if we are fortunate. Our Great Work, on the other hand, is central to becoming more Conscious. When the Work becomes our focus, we are making evolutionary progress towards an aeonic perspective; towards awakening the A:O.
It is important that the reader acknowledge that there is a particular phenomenon being discussed here. Strip away anything thought to be extraordinary, fantastic, or supernatural; something still exists that is undeniable. This essence being discussed seems to be something which can exist outside of our otherwise biomechanical nature. Throughout history you can see one religion after the next all focused in one way or the other upon it. Science can only sort of measure it and only partially explain it. It is one of the chief mysteries that have puzzled thinkers and mystics since the beginning of this Aeon.
Theistic and gnostic relate it to the concept of a “soul” or “spirit”. Maslow labelled it as “self-actualization” and theorized that it could be cultivated to one step even higher. The attainment of a “transpersonal” state. Still none of them seem to wholly capture what, all of us seem to be aware of. That “thing”, that alien essence, in which they all seem to point to; That is The A:O. That is what we must endeavor to awaken. This is the Great Work of the Darkhorse Klan Brotherhood (or just simply called “The Brotherhood”).
Still in progress… but worth a preemptive share.
T.C. Downey/Beast Xeno
(Oath of Klan Brotherhood)
I am not Special.
I know not now who I am.
I possess nothing that is original; barren of authenticity.
My ego is a carbon copy; xeroxed from true life force millenia ago.
A persona constructed by basic programming executed by a string of subconscious impulses.
I am an unwitting slave to the puritan ideological environment.
I have been stripped of my honour and robbed of my potential; expected to be compliant.
Truth now has been spoken!
I will now begin to awaken!
I vow to gain back my HONOUR and strengthen my POTENCY!
Embracing to struggle.
Against this I’ll grow stronger.
Begin to reach deeper.
Then act as a Slyman.
I cannot go alone and become free of my prison.
So I am charged to seek out my own kind.
To spark so that they may see a glimpse of light.
Should fortune have it their own struggle will also ignite.
Let this be our bond forged in more than blood.
Freedom and Purpose of ancient days and future nights.
I pledge on my life to rise with Honour and Klan!
Our 9A:O – The Nine Angled Objectives of Darkhorse Klan (DhK)
1. To seek resonance, to build strength within.
2. To absorb, embody, and evolve the Insidious Way.
3. To tap our potential as Darkhorse and gain supranatural advantages in achieving our Aims.
4. To decimate morality. To reject duality/balance as some higher attainment.
5. To be freed from prison A (mental liberation), and become a Deep One.
6. To endeavor as creators, manifestors of living breathing art.
7. To see “real world” manifestations of the Klan into fruition. Such as continued legal status, real Lodges and monetary growth. To begin the corrosion of prison B (societal liberation)
8. To construct something that lasts of the self beyond death; both internally and externally.
9. To Awaken the A:O.
When I sat down today to write; I had it in my mind that I might tackle “Terror” as a subject matter and perhaps set the record straight (from my perspective anyway). As I fumbled around the internet; looking for things that might really hammer my ideas into a fine point. I stumbled across a blog entry which linked one of the most asinine videos I think I have ever seen. To boot, it was being paraded as “logical”. So I’m going to shelve “Terror” for yet another entry, because I just can’t stomach so much hubris in under 15 minutes. To think, my interests were once peeked by the author of this video. Shame on me.
The main topic of this blog entry (posted on December 21st of 2020) was “satan-ism” with the subtopic being “predatory groups of” satan-ism. In which, 3 videos were linked. I naturally selected the one I was interested in; the Order of Nine Angles. The video took place on November 3rd of 2020 (over 45+ days before the blog entry?? wtf??) and lasted just under 15 minutes. I wasn’t 30 seconds in and my eyes were involuntarily rolling into the back of my head. So much fallaciousness in one spot, it is hard to know exactly where to start, but like all things you aren’t sure about; I’ll just start at the beginning.
Before we get going I want to clarify (in case, over the years I have not) a few things. I am not a part of the inner circle of “Old Guard” and have only had interactions with handful of ONA associates. Some may be currently active, some may be in “away mode”, but I have only recently felt the calling once again to rejoin the interwebs. There is Chloe352 who I’ve talked to a great length via e-mail and other digital exchange mediums. I know her the best out of all of them. I met her on MySatan back in 2007 we conversed because of a common interest in Freemasonry and kind of hit it off from that. Since then there has been a flow of ideas and information exchanged. I have never seen her face and maybe heard her voice 1 time. Still the resonance is there, I know her inner-voice so well that I can spot her “sock” accounts from The first sentence posted. There is Ryan, I’m not sure really where I met Ryan or how we began talking via the interwebs, but it has been since just after meeting Chloe352 ( a year or two at most). I respect Ryan and our exchanges have always been mutually beneficial. Once again though no face, no voice, and this time it might take a little while; but I will spot his “socks”. Then there is MIndfux. I first encountered him on “the 600 club” and later on “S.I.N.”. This was around 2008-2010. After a bit of philosophical and political discourse (a private exchange via telephone and a guest appearance(s) on The Ooze), he invited me to work with him and several others I know in his (defunct??) L316 Nexion. Our two agendas and philosophical/political leanings lined up. Even though I AM NOT by nature a joiner; if I think the cause is worthy I will align myself. With L316 the stars were perfectly aligned. Finally Dan Dread who also participated in L316. Dan, I had known since just prior to Ryan and interacted with him via internet chatroom, e-mail, forums (S.I.N., 600, and CoMS), and general trolling on a daily basis for a few years. Razor sharp, that kid is for sure. That’s it my whole connection laid-out for all to see. Never exchanged with Anton Long, Christos Beest, or really anyone else to my knowledge. Well that’s only kind of true, Jall and I did have a brief exchange or two via PM.
So what was the point of that long winded history lesson? I’m writing this now; completely of my own accord and not perpetuating some “Socio-political master agenda”. The reason you see the Sigil in the sidebar of this site is because through my study of a large amount of texts and interactions with associates (those described listed above), I have determined that my aim, mindset, and beliefs are kindred to the ONA. Sure there are some variances and disagreements, but nothing that would warrant throwing the baby out with the bath water. Does that even make me O9A? How about you decide for yourself?
Now on to the “logic” that I found to be just as wanting as the beard on his face. Traditional Satan-ism as ascribed by the O9A is the ONLY valid satan-ism. The fact that I have to even point this out pains me considerably. You base your whole argument on 3 conditions:
- ONA has an agenda
- ONA are evil and participate in/encourage crime
- ONA view satan-ism as a tool or entry point.
The fact that you are using your own experience of juvenile antics and costume play to suppose; that all of the rest of us have a “super-villain mentality” is extremely telling. What is even more telling, is that you clearly mention “socially acceptable behavior”; as if anyone should give a fuck what is socially acceptable. It is no wonder to me at all, that you believe you are being manipulated to “do something really fucking stupid”. You certainly are being duped, but it isn’t by the O9A kid; you are lying to yourself. You are not a satanist, from what I can see you’re a “dark neo-pagan” and that’s giving you a lot of wiggle room. If you were actually putting in ANY Work at all, you should have gleaned these things by now:
Satan-ism IS an entry point; because once you understand the theory, doctrine, and system; and you have put them into practice; you will realize that you have been or are being Satanic. You have become like Satan! THIS is why you are encouraged to aspire to commit crime. It is the knowledge/gnosis gained from each act that moves you away from your magian/puritan mundane existence. Praxis is where you gain YOUR power and that is true anywhere on the LHP. If you don’t get that… I’m sorry Forrest, but this ain’t your box of chocolates. Satan is not a spiritual path or religion, that shit is for puritan posers like yourself.
Does the Order of Nine Angles have an agenda? Yes. Will they use whatever tactics, deeds, or manipulation necessary to accomplish it? Fuck Yes! Is western ideology, values, and society a festering fucking cancer to our species? You ARE DEAD FUCKING RIGHT! This crybaby culture of i-wannabe-specialism; those who just want to put on their little ceremonial robes, do a few lines of yayo, and rub one out by the candle light as they chant some silly bastardized latin phrases without paying in to the Current; is the calling card of society’s rotting stench. It is by their description, that we are inherently evil, and so what?? So fucking be it! Aren’t you late for Sunday School?
T.C. Downey (I will proof read later)
Welcome back interwebs. I cannot really say I’ve missed you. There has been a couple of recent events that have brought me back to this domain. First the passing of my dear old friend, who once authored posts in this collection of various entries; Jason Sorrell / Ego Diabolus. Jason passed away on 2/22/2021. I’m not certain the particulars of why he passed so young. Nor do I care to disclose what information, I do possess about this event. Let us just celebrate the life of a man that truly lived a Satanic life. Jason understood the current on a very intuitive level, as well as, on a highly sophisticated philosophical and psychological level. He had the ability to dissertate his understanding on a very practical level. You can view his postings in right column under his name. I implore you to do so.
Speaking of having the ability to communicate very large complex concepts in a very practical manner; this brings me to the second event which has spawned my reemergence. I was recently contacted by yet another gifted thinker and also dear old friend, Chloe also known as Chloe352. This was a completely arbitrary event and though she inquired on Jason’s well being, she was totally unaware of his passing. Pure happenstance but it struck a resonance within me; one which I can only view it as providence. She was touching base with me, and filling me in on some less personal events she knew would interest me. It seems the ONA has recently caught the attention of different government agencies not just domestic but in various other regions of the world. You can read about it yourself on the o9a.org WordPress. I was informed that a few orgs and public figures had also passed, disappeared, or are in their death throws.
This opened my eyes to the current state of “satanism”. Notice I left the word lowercase. Chloe; in Nexion Zine 7.1 astutely points out that -ism is a distinctive doctrine, theory, system, or practice. Not a religion, not in my eyes anyway. I like to take Occam’s Razor and shave it right to the bone. You see to me, satan-ism is the doctrine, theory, system, practice of being satanic. That’s right kiddies, its an action; it’s something you do. More accurately, it is the way things are to be done. A search on google, reveals one sad, sad fact there is very little satan-ism going on out there, at least as a movement. I cannot speak for or about folks on an individual level, I; myself live a very satanic lifestyle and have not really contributed to the tradition in any aeonic sense. For a brief time I may have carried a little notoriety, but that’s probably just my own vanity talking. It’s now time to change that. So I’m calling myself out; I’m calling you out!
You may be thinking to yourself, “I am a troo satanist! I live my life by the core concepts of it. My deeds do in fact match my ideals. Why is it my responsibility to contribute?”, however for those words to be truthful; consider this. The mandate is intertwined in the very meaning of the words chosen to mascot this “system of being”, satan literally means “adversary; one who plots against” and devil; slanderer, accuser. So if you think being a hokey-halloween hung over- hack with a hedonistic appetite and a love for horror movies is sufficient to demonstrate solidarity; you are a fucking poser, plastic, a fraud, a fake, and you are not who I’m talking to right now. I could give two fucks, if you overdosed on 30 hits of LSD while getting ass-fucked by a gang of midget orangutans, as you performed a black mass ritual, live on TinyChat with a billion followers as witness. You are still a counterfeit and you will be culled.
Culling what an eerie word, no matter in what sense you are discussing it. Oxford says it is a reduction of a wild animal population by selective slaughter and the action of sending an inferior or surplus farm animal to be slaughtered. One might wonder the meaning when I say “no matter the sense you are discussing it.” when the definition is rather particular. You see there are other deaths besides physical ones. A physical death seems rather crude and non-congruent when placed in context of satan-ism and being satanic. Rather pointless and hollow then. Where’s the plotting? What would you be being adverse to? Where’s the slander and what of the accusation? Though there might be momentary gratification, ultimately there’s nothing really Satanic, maybe satanic in some instances, but nothing capital about it. It does nothing for the aeonic calling.
Instead slaughtering your credibility and use of the theory that you might be satanic (a yes its barely a theory), seems more fitting an undertaking. So if this fits you, maybe start calling yourself what you are; false. Because I have returned and I am your enemy.